BOXES

I live in the country which has led to a mild to moderate Amazon addiction, and therefore, a concurrent love/hate relationship with boxes. I am always way more torn than I should be about the fate of my Amazon boxes. How many should I keep? Which sizes should I keep? Should I break them down to store them, because then I waste tape when I put them back together? Oh wait, that one is a slightly different size than this one, I should probably keep it! Those darn boxes….they literally cause me some serious anxiety!

At our house, it’s Christmas nearly every day as we open our boxes and discover our coffee pods, our paper towels, our cat food, and yes, the more than occasional impulse buy! The thing about those beautiful boxes is, anything can be inside of them! Sometimes we open a box to find an item that is broken or doesn’t fit, or just looked SO much better on the website. Where am I going with this? Well, while chatting with one of my girls today I came back to my silly box fetish as it dawned on me that, in so many ways, we live our lives inside of a box. Oh the box looks perfectly fine on the outside….for the most part….but inside, well, until we peek inside we have no idea what’s really going on in there. See, I think, too often, people are like my boxes. We show the world just what we want the world to see, or maybe just what we THINK the world wants to see, but if the world peeked inside of our “box”…what would they really find?

Oh the “perfect” box would contain something like family, kids, friends, home, job, education, church, money and… you get the idea. We proudly decorate the outside of our box with all of these accomplishments! We show everyone how successful we have been at filling our box. Everyone applauds our box! Everyone says, wow, that’s a great box! Everyone says, look at that box, it’s so beautiful….I want to be that box! But the sad reality is, does anybody care about what’s in the box? We work so hard to be sure that everyone will admire our beautiful box, that we frequently forget to take care of what’s inside of it, and even more tragically….we judge others whose boxes aren’t as beautifully decorated as ours!

On a personal note, I spent a LOT of years living inside of a box that did not fit me very well. Oh I tried to decorate it, fill it up with accomplishments and show it off loud and proud, but inside my box I was dying! I was trying to live a life, that quite honestly was smothering me. At the time I was very involved in the evangelical church. I attended several of these churches over the course of almost 20 years, and, if I am being brutally honest, never really felt like I fully belonged at any of them. Oh it wasn’t anybody’s fault! I made some dear friends, and have some fun memories. They couldn’t have known how I was feeling, because I didn’t know! I just know I tried to be so so many things, that I felt were required for my box to “fit in”! I tried to be more quiet, more lady-like, more submissive, more compliant, more obedient, less questioning, less….less….more….more….you name it….and all I ever got was less of me! The not-so-real me tried so hard to wear my beautifully decorated box, but inside…..!

See inside the box is where the real living takes place! And what if that “real”, like mine, doesn’t quite fit inside of that pretty box? Well, we have two choices! Live inside of it anyway, or bust open that freaking box and live true to ourselves! Since I decided to bust open my box I have been told that, “I am going against scripture”, “I am falling away from God”, “I am being worldly”…..oh that’s the short, NICE comments I have received. But, reader, if you are still with me….busting out of that box was like breathing again for the first time in over 20 years! God absolutely did not make me to fit inside of ANY box, He did not make you to fit inside of ANYBODY’S box! He wants us to live out-loud, He wants us to live free, He wants us to live in His love, He wants us to drink of all the wonderful things that are found outside of that suffocating box that the world tries to place us in, and that we, sadly, allow ourselves to be placed in!

I encourage you with every fiber of my being, let the world see you! Let the world see your smile, your hurt, your stains, your mistakes, your diversity, your heart, your tears and most importantly your love for each other! And world…..you be nice to them! Don’t force them back into a box just so YOU will be more comfortable! See, it’s easier when people fit into a box. We don’t have to see their pain, their trials, their challenges, their lifestyle that might make you uncomfortable, their difficult journey (that just might inspire you), that suffering that just might make you hurt a little too! See that’s what it’s all about! We must quit forcing people to stay inside of ill-fitting boxes! It hurts inside of that box, it’s lonely inside of that box, and the world is a far less beautiful place with so many beautiful souls suffocating inside of them!!

Now I still love me a good box, put people absolutely do not belong in them! I pray love and open boxes for all of you!